There Are Buicks Everywhere

Psyching myself up now to go to the doctor AGAIN. They couldn’t do all the tests they needed to do on me in urgent care, doesn’t that sound just fucking terrifying? I already got blood drawn and the ass-shot. 

When I got out of the shower I looked in the mirror and I could see a huge number of dips and and bones in my body that i’ve never seen before in my life. It’s making me sick. Ha ha, I made a joke by accident. 

But seriously, though. 

I can’t believe i haven’t had internet for like nine months. Not that I do now, i’m at my grandparents’ house cus I just got back from the doctor and my house is too full of dogs and insane children to facilitate healing, apparently. I got a HUGE shot in my butt-cheek, my first time for that, but at least i’m not puking my insides out now.

 Including the 12-some pounds i’ve lost over these 4 days of illness, i’ve lost 40 pounds this year, none intentionally, I never changed my diet or exercise or anything, and now i’m looking all emaciated with my ribs sticking out of my chest and shit. It’s pretty super unnerving, and now i’m afraid I have some sick tapeworm or something.

So now I guess i’m gonna go dwell on that.

I woke up with my mom when she came home at four a.m. today, and we stayed up watching Married with Children and Saved By the Bell, which was awesome, and then I went back to bed and woke up at twelve. Today is my last day this week, so i’m pretty fuckin’ psyched. I think i’ll queue up some picture posts or something. 

Bad day. Tumblr, People of WalMart, and StarGazer to make me feel better. 

I have such a long history of fucking everything up that I started to wonder today if i’m still doing it and just not realizing it. I mean, I guess I had some vague sense that I was at times, and I don’t feel that way now. I really would like to start not being a moron.